Lake Placid vs. Anaconda- 2015

Director A.B. Stone

Starring Robert Englund, Yancy Butler

Scott’s Review #267

Reviewed August 16, 2015

Grade: D

Calling Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (2015) a bad film is generous. It is poorly made, written, and acted.

It contains every horror and comedy cliché in the book, so it’s not a film to take seriously; it’s best watched late at night with adult spirits.

The premise is ludicrous, the acting is way overdone, and all characters are “types” and one-dimensional.

Having seen the original Lake Placid (1999) and Anaconda (1999) films (and they weren’t great either), I wasn’t aware this was the fifth film in both franchises and a crossover.

Premiering on the Syfy network in mid-2015, it is a made-for-television feature, and the lack of any real gore is apparent for this reason.

Robert Englund and Yancy Butler, stars of other installments in the franchise, return.

Sadly, this one has no Betty White or Jennifer Lopez (stars of the original Lake Placid and Anaconda, respectively).

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda isn’t trying to be great or even art; it’s an idiotic late-night experience. I didn’t rate the film a solid ‘F’ because it knew what it was and didn’t take itself too seriously, which I respect, at least.

The story begins in the woods near Clear Lake, Maine, as an illegal experiment takes place inside a truck. The serum is being illegally extracted from a sedated crocodile to sell to a giant corporation for profit.

Jim Bickerman (played by horror legend Englund) is paid handsomely to provide information that sets the plot in motion.

A villainous corporate schemer oversees the events. Inevitably, something goes wrong, and the crocodile wakes up and gets loose, encountering large anacondas that are also on the loose.

From this point, we meet other inane characters who round out the film, including a group of bitchy sorority sisters heading to Clear Lake, presumably to pledge and party, and Sheriff Reba (Yancy Butler) and her bumbling team of police officers.

Also integral to the story is one of the sorority sisters’ (Bethany) fathers, Will, who attempts to help Sheriff Reba rescue everyone from the killer reptiles.

Side stories include the laugh-out-loud pledge attempts by some of the sorority wannabees (one is forced to dig a hole in the sand large enough for her to hide in within twenty minutes).

A friendship between the only two sensible girls, Bethany and Margot, a high-level female executive intent on capturing the serum for riches.

And a burgeoning romance between Reba and Will.

Silly personified, the film is meant to be goofy, and the actors play their roles as written.

The film has a shred of realism, and none of the characters have any depth.

From a character standpoint, the worst offender is humorously my favorite. Tiffani is the comically vicious sorority queen. With her constant berating of the new pledges, she regularly demands that they get in the water and swim for her entertainment.

Ultimately, the girls are attacked by the crocodile in the water, giving the camera multiple shots of them swimming underwater while scantily clad.

Is this a 1980s low-budget horror throwback? When the crocodile emerges onto land, the remaining girls flee for safety.

In a hilarious scene, Tiffani and one of her minions are cornered by the vicious crocodile.

The minion asks what to do, and Tiffani replies, “I have an idea,” then promptly pushes the minion toward the crocodile, where it is chewed to bits, letting Tiffani escape.

Later, predictably, Tiffani receives her comeuppance.

I find myself perplexed as to why this film was even made. With a shoestring budget, dated CGI effects, little blood, and a silly plot, one assumes that the franchise’s predecessors were similar ventures.

Laced with one dumb scene after another and hard to take seriously, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (2015) is as poor filmmaking as it gets, but it’s best taken with a grain of salt and enjoyed for its campy badness.

Horror-comedy for a boozy Saturday night.