Category Archives: Raquel Welch

1974 Films, Action, Adventure, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Geraldine Chaplin, Oliver Reed, Raquel Welch

The Four Musketeers-1974

Leave a comment

The Four Musketeers-1974

Director Richard Lester

Starring Oliver Reed, Michael York, Faye Dunaway

Scott’s Review #1,379

Reviewed July 17, 2023

Grade: B

The Four Musketeers (1974) is a sequel to the film The Three Musketeers made a mere year earlier. It takes the second half of the famous novel by French author Alexandre Dumas with the original film covering the first half.

A recommendation is to watch the sequel directly after the original so there is less struggle to figure out what is going on. I did not do that so connecting the plot points was a struggle.

A further negative is the omission of any English subtitles making hearing or ascertaining the events of the film difficult. British accents are tough.

King Louis XIII’s (Jean-Pierre Cassel) four swashbuckling heroes engage in chivalrous and daring adventures when Cardinal Richelieu (Charlton Heston) and his evil accomplice Milady de Winter (Faye Dunaway), kidnap the queen’s dressmaker, Constance (Raquel Welch).

The heroes are D’Artagnan (Michael York), Athos (Oliver Reed), Porthos (Frank Finlay), and Aramis (Richard Chamberlain).

It’s a British swashbuckler film so the adventures are prevalent and the physical comedy is fast and furious. It’s like a sitcom at times with over-the-top and outlandish fight sequences and one-liners.

The frequent low-cut tops on the female characters are intended to channel the male viewer’s thirteen-year-old boy.

The film gets darker than I anticipated in the final act which is to its credit with two deaths. This surprised me in a good way because so much of The Four Musketeers is light-hearted.

The death by the beheading of a major character is well-done. The heroes watch an executioner perform his duties to the fiendish character from across a lake. The decapitation is not exactly shown but it’s done almost in a tremendously effective silhouette and from a distance.

The costumes and attention to detail from a historic perspective are superior elements of the film. One can imagine being in the French countryside during the Anglo-French War in the 1600s. The sets and lighting are bright so the result is colorful and picturesque style.

The cast is made up of several A-list Hollywood stars of the time and each adequately does their share to light up the screen. My favorites are Dunaway as the villainess and Reed as a ‘good guy’, a refreshing change for the actor who usually appears as the heavy.

Reed and Dunaways share some scenes mostly in flashbacks that made me want to see more of their romance but this is not to be. Athos was unaware that Milady de Winter was a criminal which left a permanent branding mark.

Still, what little I got featured tremendous chemistry between the pair and I would have liked to have seen more.

Where the film loses me a bit is with the silliness which follows the same formula that made The Three Musketeers a success. Feeling redundant were the endless sword fight scenes and tongue-in-cheek winking.

The film tries hard to be a comedy but adds in darker moments too so it leaves an unbalanced quality.

Some actors get short shrift. Christopher Lee as Count De Rouchfort is a secondary villain and has little to do except prance around in a wig, uniform, and eye patch. His character is no Dracula and does not feel dangerous.

The Four Musketeers (1974) is good entertainment from a solidly professional cast. Hardly a masterpiece it’s a bang ’em up comedy adventure with a few moments of death and destruction.

1972 Films, Horror, Raquel Welch, Richard Burton, Sybil Danning

Bluebeard-1972

Leave a comment

Bluebeard-1972

Director Edward Dymtryk

Starring Richard Burton, Joey Heatherton

Scott’s Review #1,293

Reviewed August 23, 2022

Grade: A-

My expectations of Bluebeard (1972) were of a late-night foray into the world of weird horror. The story is loosely based on a French folktale of a nobleman with a curious wife forbidden from entering a mysterious room. I was anticipating an entertaining experience but nothing more.

To lower expectations, the critic reviews of the film were quite harsh, ridiculing and ripping upper-class actor Richard Burton to shreds calling this film the decline and fall of his career.

Instead, I was treated to luscious art direction created on a small budget and a fascinating, macabre story about a man nicknamed ‘Bluebeard’ (Burton) who kills each of his six former wives while revealing his dirty deeds to wife number seven, Anne, (Joey Heatherton) who he plans to kill.

We learn that Austrian aristocrat Baron von Sepper (Richard Burton) would rather kill his wives than divorce them. It’s the 1930’s and he is a decorated war hero with a secret or two. A lady’s man meets the most beautiful women but quickly becomes bored with them.

He hides their remains in a secret refrigerated room and Anne stumbles upon their corpses. Now, she must escape his clutches to avoid becoming his next victim.

Burton is famous for being the husband of Elizabeth Taylor and appearing in superior films like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966) and The Robe (1953) and was a much sought-after Hollywood star during the 1950s and 1960s.

By the time of Bluebeard’s making, he was a raging alcoholic and needed the film work. However, intentionally or not he is a fabulous addition to the film whether he was sober during shooting or not. He perhaps doesn’t even recall making it.

The most fun with Bluebeard is the anticipation. Once I realized the film was working backward and detailing each of Bluebeard’s six former wives’ murders I was hooked! Each murder is better than the last and poor Raquel Welch as Magdelena is locked in a tomb alive.

In the comical form, the actress plays a slutty nun.

One particular scene had me tickled pink. Bluebeard’s third or fourth wife, a gorgeous blonde who is a chatty ‘motor mouth’ and eager to dive into bed with her new husband, is decapitated via guillotine when she thinks she will finally become intimate with him.

It’s a fabulous sequence that I had to watch twice.

The decapitation scene is nearly rivaled by a titillating girl-on-girl scene between Nathalie Delon and Sybil Danning who plays a prostitute hired to teach Bluebeard’s wife how to enjoy the pleasures of touch and eroticism.

They quickly get naked and kiss.

Instead of being aroused as any straight man would, Bluebeard takes a shear to them impaling them to death one on top of the other. We then realize he is quite inadequate in the sexual department.

It should go without mentioning that folks looking for a PG affair need to look elsewhere. There are enough breasts bared to make the prudish blush mightily. The lesbian scene might leave them running for the hills.

No, Bluebeard is an adult venture for those desiring a healthy serving of female flesh with their bloodletting. The male actors are spared any nudity- that’s the way cinema was back then.

Heatherton does surprisingly well paired with Burton and the chemistry works between them. She is not a top-quality actress but she is appealing and we root for her to escape the madman.

The art direction is tremendous and reminiscent of the attention to detail and craft that Hammer Horror films were able to create around that same period. The velvet red walls in Bluebeard’s massive estate ooze with royalty and sophistication. Each table, chair, and set piece is perfectly placed.

Of course, Bluebeard is pure camp and over-the-top shenanigans but it’s a hoot all the way, never dragging nor taking itself too seriously.

I was pleasantly pleased by Bluebeard (1972) and consider it a must-see for Burton fans desiring some later works sans Elizabeth Taylor. It’s not high-art but it sure is delicious Saturday night fun.

1994 Films, Comedy, Doris Belack, Fred Ward, George Kennedy, James Earl Jones, Leslie Nielsen, O.J. Simpson, Olympia Dukakis, Pia Zadora, Priscilla Presley, Raquel Welch

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult-1994

Leave a comment

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult-1994

Director Peter Segal

Starring Leslie Nielsen, George Kennedy

Scott’s Review #1,104

Reviewed January 26, 2021

Grade: B-

Despite being the third and final installment in the popular Naked Gun (1988-1994) franchise, Naked Gun 33 1/3 The Final Insult (1994) is my favorite of the trio despite having a silly title.

The title of “33 1/3” is a reference to the resolutions per minute of an LP playing on a phonograph, a point that has nothing to do with the actual film.

It was also inexplicably decided to leave off the “The” in the title, leaving Naked Gun instead of The Naked Gun.

Why is anyone’s guess? Nor does it matter.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a great film but it’s better than the other two, which is shocking in a spoof/screwball comedy going for the standard gags. But, as dumb as the film is, it’s also kind of fun and lightweight.

It’s like a needed chuckle requiring little thought following a rough day at the office.

A familiar formula is followed and this time the events culminate at the glorious Hollywood Oscar celebration, the apple in the eye of all Los Angeles, undoubtedly the main reason this effort is marginally enjoyable.

For unfamiliar viewers, the Naked Gun films are a combination of the Airplane! (1980-1982) and the over-exhausted Police Academy (1984-1994) franchises. The films were out of gas by 1994.

The franchise is based on the short-lived television series Police Squad! (1982), a procedural comedy about bumbling police personnel and the situations they get themselves into to showcase their ineptness.

The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult was O.J. Simpson’s final role before he was damned for all eternity for his presumed role in the murder of his wife and her friend in a ritzy area of California.

Leslie Nielsen returns as Frank Drebin, retired and living with his wife Jane (Priscilla Presley). Bored with life, they experience marital problems and seek counseling. Six months after Frank’s retirement, he is visited by Captain Ed Hocken (George Kennedy) and Officer Nordberg (Simpson), who ask for Frank’s help with an investigation.

Police Squad has caught wind that mischievous bomber Rocco Dillon (Fred Ward), who is currently incarcerated, has been hired by terrorists to conduct a major bombing against the United States.

As Frank tries to keep Jane from finding out that he is dabbling in detective work again, he jokes that he is having an affair to throw her off the track. When she begins to suspect he is having an affair this leads to a silly series of misunderstandings and gags which naturally are wrapped up as is always the case in films like this.

Nielsen is the main draw and he does what he does best and what makes him the king of spoof films. A serious actor before Airplane! he became a typecast but had lots of successes ahead of him.

He embraces his role which adds freshness. He doesn’t take himself so seriously so audiences can sit back and relax, enjoying the entertainment.

The lavish awards ceremony and the ingenious idea to plant the bomb within the coveted Best Picture Oscar sealed envelope is delicious, especially when the bomb is set to detonate when the card is pulled from the envelope and the winner is crowned.

This creates a good measure of suspense as the award show carries on toward the big finale.

George Kennedy has little to do but it’s the inclusion of stars like Vanna White, Weird Al Yankovic, and Pia Zadora that add zest to the production.

Director, Peter Segal, famous for lightweight comedies with heart, is wise to keep the running time at a quick one hour and twenty-two minutes. If longer, any momentum the film musters would have disintegrated.

This was his feature-length directorial debut.

The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) may be the best in the trio but that says quite little considering it’s based on funnier and fresher endeavors.

I champion the early Police Academy films for a needed dose of police incompetence and hilarity done up in a fun way. If one must watch a Naked Gun film and is partial to the Academy Awards, this one is begrudgingly suggested.

1965 Films, Britt Ekland, Comedy, Doris Day, George Marshall, Hermione Baddeley, Maura McGiveney, Ralph Levy, Raquel Welch, Rod Taylor, Romantic Comedy, Sergio Fantoni

Do Not Disturb-1965

Leave a comment

Do Not Disturb-1965

Director Ralph Levy, George Marshall

Starring Doris Day, Rod Taylor

Scott’s Review #917

Reviewed July 8, 2019

Grade: C+

Singer and actress Doris Day put her stamp on the romantic comedy genre during the 1960s becoming synonymous with wholesome film characters. She had spunk and charm and always wore sensible shoes.

Do Not Disturb (1965) is a lightweight, forgettable work with a silly premise, a juvenile script, and a meandering plot thrown in for good measure.

The film is saved somewhat by the interesting locales of London and Kent England, but those seeking better quality ought to seek out the gems The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) or Pillow Talk (1959).

Day and Rod Taylor star as Janet and Mike Harper, an American couple who relocate to England as part of a transfer for the company he works for. They immediately disagree over where to live; Mike prefers the excitement of London, but Janet favors the rustic quality of Kent.

After she gets them a house thirty miles outside London, the plan backfires when the couple grows further apart due to Mike’s need to commute to London every day. Lonesome and isolated, Janet worries incessantly that Mike is having an affair with his new secretary, Claire Hackett (Maureen McGivney).

Prompted by her busybody landlord, Vanessa Courtwright (Hermione Baddeley), Janet meets an Italian antique dealer, Paul Bellari (Sergio Fantoni), who she hires to redecorate her house. With Mike spending more time with Claire, Janet, and Paul in equally close quarters, the antics begin.

Janet and Mike may be innocent, but Paul and Claire could have designs on their potential mates especially as the foursome faces one compromising situation after another.

The heart of an authentic romantic comedy is good, old-fashioned chemistry between the leads, and Taylor and Day exhibit adequate sparkle but hardly sizzle.

Mediocrity in the setup and writing can be forgiven if other elements like crackling moments exist, but those are scarcities in Do Not Disturb.

Some Like it Hot (1959) embodies a great comedy with romantic wrappings featuring fantastic leads Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe, but the former does not come close to finding its footing amid cliche after cliche.

The film is plot-driven and heavy on story-dictated situations rather than character development, and the ending is predictable. The jokes fall flat or feel distinctly canned and cheap and the laughs never catch on.

During a tepid sequence, Janet and Paul go to a remote town to check out antiques and she winds up drinking too much bubbly, becoming drunk and foolhardy.

What should have been comic relief does little to further the plot or flesh out the characters.

Director Ralph Levy makes little effort to steer the film anywhere other than a slick mainstream “affair” despite the release year being 1965 when more edgy works were replacing the polished and familiar.

Rather than dare to go to a less-than-cheery place and perhaps decide to have Janet or Mike cheat on their significant others, Levy chooses not to go there instead attempting to satisfy those seeking a happily-ever-after wrapping.

Not to be completely negative, Do Not Disturb features wonderful and stunning locale sequences of bustling metropolitan London, quaint English cottages, and wilderness, oozing with as much culture and sophistication as down-home comforts and rich flavor.

The combination of an American couple thrust into a different setting with a new set of rules and regulations to follow makes the film fun and offers a sprinkle of good scenery.

Do Not Disturb (1965) is a mid-1960s mainstream release buried among nests of other similar-themed but better-written films. Even appealing and bankable stars of the time like Taylor and Day could not succeed in spicing up tired gimmicks and plot devices.

The film will forever be relegated to the romantic comedy shelves teetering on the brink of obscurity.

2001 Films, Comedy, Jennifer Coolidge, Linda Cardellini, Luke Wilson, Raquel Welch, Reese Witherspoon, Romantic Comedy, Selma Blair

Legally Blonde-2001

Leave a comment

Legally Blonde-2001

Director Robert Luketic

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson

Scott’s Review #807

Reviewed August 30, 2018

Grade: B+

Legally Blonde (2001) is a film that by all accounts should have been a hot mess, but for some reason is a great ball of fun. High art it ain’t by any means, and the plot is implausible beyond belief, and suspension of disbelief must be securely tucked away.

Despite portraying more serious roles both before and after this film, Reese Witherspoon is largely responsible for the success and is closely associated with this role.

Quite simply, all the elements manage to align with perfection in this film.

Elle Woods (Witherspoon) is president of her sorority at a Los Angeles college. Clad in fluffy pink attire and carrying her cute dog everywhere she goes, she epitomizes the stereotypical “dumb blonde”.

However, she does carry a 4.0 grade point average in fashion.

Expecting a marriage proposal from her upper-class, snooty boyfriend, Warner, Elle instead finds herself dumped due to not being serious enough.

Determined to prove herself worthy, she manages acceptance into Harvard Law School, along with Warner, and embarks on hi-jinks and adventures.

Warner’s fiancee and a potential new love interest cause turmoil for the boisterous Elle.

Legally Blonde never takes itself too seriously and is simply a fun, silly-minded, comic adventure. Audiences will likely chuckle and smile along with Elle’s adventures as she gets into one pickle after another, always determined to prove her intelligence.

To be clear, the film itself is very formulaic and could easily have been trivial and uninspired resulting in a bomb. But Witherspoon shines in the lead role adding a likable, charming quality to the character.

The actress possesses great wit and comic timing so that her character becomes more of a champion and we root for her to overcome obstacles and succeed.

By miles, she is the standout in the film.

Suspension of disbelief is at an all-time high. In “real life” there is no way Elle would ever make her way into the elitist Ivy League school brandishing a pink resume or other silly tricks to be cute and appealing.

Nor would she ever likely be so instrumental in winning a murder case so quickly. To nobody’s surprise, Elle eventually graduates with flying colors and is honored with giving a graduation speech inspiring those around her.

But as implausible as these situations are, they are also Legally Blondes’ appeal.

The supporting characters are pure caricatures, especially the main foils (Warner and Vivian- who take Elle’s place as fiancee). Both are the villains, Vivian going so far as to embarrass Elle by inviting her to a stuffy party under the guise of it being a costume party.

In the end, one of the characters “turns good”, another common element of predictable films of this nature. But again, the film is just pure and simple fun, so these stereotypes are okay.

In more modern times (not that 2001 was so long ago), the film would have not been directed by a man, but rather by a woman.

Screenwriters Kirsten Smith and Karen McCullah Lutz prepared a female-driven film that was based on a novel by Amanda Brown.

Why a man was chosen to direct is beyond me, but, alas, this is the way things were at the time.

Interestingly, another recent film that I reviewed, My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) would work perfectly as a now retro romantic comedy double feature along with Legally Blonde (2001).

Both are fun and light but also celebrate strong female characters.

Legally Blonde borrows much from the 1995 brilliant similar genre Clueless but is not as great as that film. Still, the film is an inspired effort due largely to the charms of its lead star.