Leslie Easterbrook | Scott's Film Reviews-1,425 + Reviews posted so far!!!

Private Resort-1985

Director George Bowers

Starring Rob Morrow, Johnny Depp, Hector Elizondo

Scott’s Review #1,382

Reviewed July 26, 2023

Grade: B

Depending on what type of film you are looking for Private Resort (1985) may be just what the doctor ordered.

A version of Animal House (1978) or Porky’s (1981) shifted to a sunny beach resort is the perfect summer setting for a sex romp with enough g-strings, boobs, and bare butts to make even non-prudish viewers blush a little.

Suffice it to say, director George Bowers, mostly known as a film editor, and screenwriter Alan Wenkus wasn’t seeking any Academy Award nominations.

Though silly, thoughtless, and caked with terrible acting Private Resort is a fun flick.

Shamelessly, since its 1985 release the distributors have callously billed mega Hollywood star Johnny Depp as the ‘star’ of this film. Someone even dared to add his photo to the film’s cover art, which I nearly used when creating my film review.

In reality, Depp plays second fiddle to Rob Morrow, who is the film’s real star and proudly displays more bare flesh than Depp does.

Morrow also proudly dons a dress and wig for a lengthy drag performance.

Thankfully, another source cleverly depicts a lineup of bronzed and toned beach bodies donning the letters that spell ‘Private Resort’ (see above) on different cover art.

Horny teenage buddies, Ben and Jack (Morrow and Depp) decide to spend a weekend in a swanky Miami beach resort chasing the flock of equally horny and scantily clad women they encounter.

How they have the money to afford a room is never explained.

Their fun is parlayed when they cross paths with a shifty jewel thief played by Hector Elizondo and his leggy girlfriend Bobbie Sue (Leslie Easterbrook). Throw in a romance with all-American-looking waitress Patti (Emily Longstreth) and sultry Dana (Karyn O’Bryan) and you’ve got a plot.

Bowers throws in enough physical comedy and antics to keep the action moving along in a speedy one-hour and twenty-two-minute running time.

The gags follow films like Caddyshack (1980) or any of the other countless 1980s slapstick comedies and you can pretty much bank on what you’ll be served up.

Why, the opening scene follows a parade of sexy female sunbathers slathering suntan lotion on or suggestively bending over for all to see. Many were uncredited so my hunch is that adult film stars were used.

Morrow is the standout and his boyish charisma lights up the screen especially when he becomes smitten with Patti. The fresh-faced pair make a perfect match and exude young love becoming the heart of the film.

Elizondo and Easterbrook dutifully perform their parts as one-dimensional foils and MILF roles respectively. Decent actors are worlds above any of the other supporting actors in terms of talent. Even comic actress Dody Goodman goes way over the top in her role as the wealthy grandmother to Dana.

Andrew Dice Clay, then known as Andrew Clay also appears.

Private Resort gets a severe wrist-slapping for two crass fat-shaming scenes not worth giving time to other than to mention it’s not kind to plump girls.

I first saw Private Resort (1985) as a teenager when it was first released and loved it. This was before I blossomed into a snobby film critic. Seeing the film a million years later with more sophisticated tastes I still find it fun, especially on a scorching summer night.

That’s got to count for something, right?

Halloween-2007

Director Rob Zombie

Starring Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane

Scott’s Review #1,234

Reviewed February 27, 2022

Grade: B

I’ve seen director/musician/entertainer Rob Zombie tear down the house as the headlining second stage act at the metal festival Ozzfest in the 2000s. He’s a striking individual with ferocious energy and a creative persona.

He’s also quite brave to undertake such an undertaking as remaking the legendary slasher film Halloween from 1978.

The results of his 2007 effort simply titled Halloween is a mixed effort but props to him for having the balls to try.

Similar to other horror films he has directed, and his music, there is brutality and rawness mixed with nastiness and a grim outlook. He wisely focuses on the character of Michael Meyers but fulfills too much backstory for my liking.

Part of the appeal of the crazed killer is his mysteriousness.

Michael is played by both Daeg Faerch and Tyler Mane.

The story is a bit of a remake. The new aspect focuses on events that begin on Halloween when ten-year-old Michael inexplicably butchers a school bully, his sister, her boyfriend, and his abusive stepfather. He is sent to a mental hospital for the next fifteen years becoming despondent and fixated on making paper machete masks.

The second part is more familiar territory.

Nearly two decades later he breaks out, intent on returning to the town of Haddonfield, Illinois. He arrives in his hometown on Halloween to hunt down his younger sister, Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton).

The only thing standing between Michael and a night of bloody carnage is psychologist Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell).

I stress the point of the nearly impossible task that Zombie faced of remaking or even reviving a film as iconic as John Carpenter’s 1978 masterpiece. Without even pen to paper, there would immediately be those who would mock and trivialize any attempt.

Zombie both wrote and directed the film.

He immediately provides a reason for Michael’s dirty deeds. Close with his mother, played by Zombie’s real-life wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, who does a fantastic job, Deborah is a struggling stripper married to an abusive man. So Michael’s earlier butchery can be somewhat understood by audiences.

My preference is how Michael’s parents were portrayed in the original in their one brief scene. They appear to be an upstanding middle-class couple with a nice house and family. This makes Michael’s psychotic rampage all the more vague and confusing.

A fabulous scene at the mental hospital showcases an ominous moment. It’s Halloween Eve and Doctor Loomis visits the despondent Michael in the outdoor yard. The audience knows he will escape but not when or how things will erupt and who will be slashed, we just know the bloodletting will soon commence.

The rest of the film is standard fare and a letdown compared to the ambitious first half, though there is way more violence and gore than can be imagined. The film feels haunting and brutal with an uncompromising approach by Zombie to kick the killings up ten notches.

It’s like the original Halloween on steroids.

The casting highlights start and stops with the exceptional Malcolm McDowell as the tortured Loomis. The famous actor, forever known as Alex in A Clockwork Orange (1971) carries the film with his expression-filled crystal blue eyes and tremendous acting ability.

Another winning choice is Brad Dourif as Sheriff Lee Brackett. Classic film fans will remember the actor as a mental patient in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in 1975 which he was Oscar-nominated.

Scout Taylor-Compton does a decent job as Laurie Strode but can anyone compare to Jamie Lee Curtis? I snicker at the thought. The rest of the actors portraying the teen friends are okay but not memorable.

Followed by Halloween II in 2009, Halloween (2007) received enough attention at the time to give fans a flurry of excitement but with the later recreation and reprisal by Jamie Lee Curtis and others from the original, the Zombie offerings won’t be remembered well.

It’s dirty, bloody, and raw but never terrifying. Zombie adds story points, some that work and some that don’t but I give the man much respect for dusting off a film as brilliant as Halloween (1978).